


Inquisitor Lavellan and the Last Few Years

by Chiriicat, Raidertrash (Chiriicat)



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Action/Adventure, Drama & Romance, Fluff and Angst, Multi, Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition, Pre-Dragon Age: Inquisition - Trespasser DLC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24242236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiriicat/pseuds/Chiriicat, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiriicat/pseuds/Raidertrash
Summary: Corypheus is finally defeated, but the work of the Inquisition is not over yet.Inquisitor Ellana Lavellan faces new issues in the aftermath of the final fight. Southen Thedas is a mess, and someone needs to ensure that balance is restored across the land.Ellana is plagued with self-doubt. Did the choices that she made truly make difference? Or did she simply make things worse? As time passes, she begins to realise that she is not the only one asking those questions.In rare moments of quiet, she attempts normality with the love of her life, Cullen. It is the one thing she has no doubts about, and even that becomes tainted with regrets of something that could have been.This story takes place in the two years between the Dragon Age: Inquisition main game and Tresspasser.
Relationships: Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford, Female Lavellan/Cullen Rutherford, Female Lavellan/Solas, Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus
Kudos: 9
Collections: Dragon Age Inquisition





	1. Prologue - The Dawn Will Come

Inquisitor Ellana Lavellan sat alone in the rotunda, the echoes of elated chatter and laughter from the celebration in the main hall snake through the slightly ajar door. She had only meant to come in here to check if Leliana’s agents had missed anything, a foolish endeavor as Ellana knew very well that Leliana was thorough.  
After she tore through the piles of left behind notes and books, she found herself remaining at the desk. Her eyes were fixated upwards past his paintings and towards the rookery where Leliana’s ravens cawed loudly, lost in the growing abyss of her own thoughts. 

‘You know you’re missing out on a great party right now,’ a voice said from behind her. 

Ellana jumped and turned to see Varric leaning casually against the wall in front of the doorway. He wore his usual bemused smirk and clutched two goblets of wine. Ellana sighed loudly and slid down in her seat, burying her head in her hand in shame. As she collected her thoughts, Varric moved to sit at the otherside of the desk and placed one of the goblets in front of her. 

‘I thought he was our friend,’ she muttered. She eyed the goblet in the front of her, snatched it and took a long and much needed drink. ‘On top of everything I need to think about now that Corypheus is defeated, I didn’t need to be doubting myself. Did I place my trust correctly?’ 

‘You’re feeling hurt by his sudden departure, that’s understandable. In the long run, he helped us, and some of us did call him a friend, so trusting him wasn’t a bad thing,’ Varric paused and looked suddenly hesitant. ‘That’s what I’m trying to tell myself anyway, but I’ve had a history of friends doing things I didn’t expect. I’m sorry, I’m not sure that helps.’ 

Ellana snorted. ‘It doesn’t. But the wine does and your attempts are appreciated. You know, it’s probably nothing and I’m just being paranoid.’ An unwanted memory passes through her mind, one that makes her angry at herself. She poured the remainder of the sweet honey wine down her throat and slammed the goblet down on the desk. ‘Stupid Solas. Did I tell you about the time that I kissed him in the fade?’ 

‘You didn’t tell me that,’ Varric raised a single eyebrow. ‘I mean I heard rumours about the two of you, but then you and Curly got together and those rumours mostly stopped.’ 

‘He took me back to Haven in the Fade after we arrived here. There was this moment. He complimented me and I thought “fuck it” and kissed him in a moment of weakness. And then he kissed me back. After I woke up I talked to him about it, and he said that it probably wasn’t a good idea to pursue anything, so I decided it wasn’t worth the effort.’ Ellana rolled her eyes. ‘When someone says something like that it kind of sets off alarm bells, y’know?’ 

Varric nodded. ‘A lot of people wouldn’t be put off by that. I think that makes you wise, or something. Anyway, Chuckles might just be pissed about the orb being broken and having a long walk. Before you know it, he’ll be back in here painting the walls and questioning everything.’ 

Ellana smiled at Varric. She felt bad for not taking a moment to appreciate the people who remained, the people who helped her through this shit, the people who were helping her now. 

‘I wish I could say the same but I doubt it,’ she said after a moment of silence, still willing herself to focus on the present. ‘I’ll miss you when you go back to Kirkwall.’ 

‘Lets not think about that right now. Besides, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon,’ Varric said. ‘And hey, we’re meant to be celebrating! Let's get through to the main hall before Tiny drinks all the alcohol.’ 

Ellana agreed and the two of them ventured into the main hall, the lively atmosphere flooding into the deadly quiet rotunda as they opened the door. They were almost immediately cornered by a group of overly enthusiastic Orlesian nobles who wanted to know the story of the battle against Corypheus. Varric did an excellent job of distracting them long enough so that she could slip away and attempt to find Cullen, who she found standing alone in a quiet corner near the entrance.

His face lit up as soon as his eyes met hers. ‘There you are! It is good to see you my love,’ He pulled her into an embrace. ‘You look exhausted.’

‘Exhausted and a little bit tipsy,’ Ellana shrugged. ‘I think exhausted is my permanent state of being.’ 

Cullen chuckled. ‘Well, I’m sure now that the immediate issue has been dealt with, you can probably afford to sleep for a day or two.’ 

‘And invoke the wrath of Josie and Leliana who will no doubt have a million things that need my attention? I’ll be lucky if I get eight hours!’ Ellana exclaimed, pulling away from him.

Cullen looked over to where he last saw Josephine running around frantically with her clipboard and was surprised to find her and Leliana sitting together and talking with drinks in hand. They seemed to be enjoying themselves for once. 

‘I think even they need the rest. I have come to realise that I also might need a two day nap,’ Cullen said. 

‘You mean you’re going to sleep without being ordered to do so? Did the sky explode again when I wasn’t looking?’ Elanna grinned. 

‘Maker's breath, don’t make jokes about that,’ Cullen laughed. ‘You’re terrible, you know that?’ 

‘Sorry, I couldn’t help it. I’ll try not to be terrible for two minutes. So fancy taking that two day nap then?’ Ellana winked, taking his hand into hers. 

‘If we can sneak away, then I’m game.’ 

The next morning, Ellana stood on the balcony in her quarters and watched the sun rise from behind the mountains, having been torn away from much needed sleep by nightmares.  
As the sun breached the peak, a bright yellow hue burst across the skies and the birds began to sing. A moment of peace and beauty that almost made Ellana momentarily forget the difficulties to come. The reparations, closing the remaining rifts, the politics…  
She rested her head against her hand and tried to pry her mind away from the problems that lay in the future. Focus on the present and enjoying being alive.  
After sometime, she finally felt well rested enough to attempt to sleep once more. She crept back into the room and tucked herself into bed next to a quietly snoring Cullen, wrapping her arms around him and nuzzling into his back.  
_It was worth it for this_ , she thought. _And besides, after Corypheus what is the worst that could happen?_


	2. Let Balance Be Restored

Ellana took her training very seriously. Almost every morning, she would jog around Skyhold, starting at the door to her quarters. From there she would head straight for the rotunda, climb to the top, circle the rookery, and then back down to the bottom again. 

As usual, Dorian was lounging around in his little alcove in the library.

‘Morning,’ she said as she passed by.

‘Have I ever mentioned that the view from here is excellent?’ He called after her. ‘And no, I don’t mean the view out the window.’ 

‘Flatterer!’ She yelled back with a giggle, noticing the irritated stares of people that attempted to read. 

Once she reached the bottom of the rotunda, she went through the door that led outside and sprinted across the bridge that led to Cullen’s office, startling him as she threw the door open. Breathless, she quickly planted a kiss on his cheek and before he had a moment to speak, ran out of his office and along the battlements towards the Mage Towers. 

Ellana paused for a moment when she reached the end of the battlements and looked over the gardens while she caught her breath. Mother Giselle led a morning prayer in the center of the gardens, soldiers, scouts and various other Inquisition members gathered around her. 

Faith was currently a difficult issue for Ellana, ever since Solas decided to give her old knowledge as a sign of friendship and trust. In ancient times the vallaslin had been slave markings and not a symbol of honour to the Gods, and if Ellana wanted, Solas would take her own vallaslin away. The information angered her, and she almost refused out of pride. And then she felt lost. What else had the Dalish gotten wrong?  
Ellana had not prayed to the elven gods since then, even after she drank from the Well of Sorrows and met Mythal at the altar in the Arbor Wilds. If anything, that entire thing created more questions. The voices that swam around in her mind made her feel wrong.

The final part of the jog was a quick lap of the courtyard where Commander Helaine and Vivienne waited by the sparring ring. When Ellana had initially begun her Knight-Enchanter training, she was not happy with the fact that Vivienne insisted that she sit in on her sessions with Helaine, worrying that she would make snide remarks and be generally difficult and distracting. This was not the case. Despite her previous disagreements with the First Enchanter, Ellana could not deny the invaluable input that she provided during her training. Vivienne helped her recognise that her previous bull-headed tactics of flailing magic wildly until the enemy fell was not a good one and that a Knight-Enchanter must have grace and be more than a brute force of will. 

‘Good morning my dear,’ Vivienne said with a bright smile as Ellana approached. ‘Did you enjoy your break?’ 

‘I slept for so long,’ Ellana replied with a grin. ‘It was glorious.’ 

‘Well you certainly deserved it. I was wondering if you had time in your busy schedule to have afternoon tea with me at some point this week? There are things I’d much like to discuss with you,’ Vivienne asked. 

‘Of course,’ Ellana said, now wondering what machinations Vivienne had now that things were all done. No doubt it would be related to the reinstatement of the circle. She grabbed her staff from the stand and hopped into the sparring ring. ‘Shall we begin?’

They began with stretches and stance practice, following that with projectile blocking using the spirit blade. After some time, Blackwall slipped out from the stables and offered to be Ellana’s sparring partner. Normally Cassandra would be her sparring partner, but she was currently busy dealing with the Chantry clerics that swarmed around their new Divine. Ellana and her advisors had managed to convince the Chantry that Cassandra needed to stay here for the time being, but Ellana knew that she would be needed in Val Royeaux sooner rather than later.  
She wanted to fight alongside her friend one more time before she left. 

Just as she began to spar with Blackwall, a disheveled runner appeared at the side of the ring and called out to her. 

‘I’m sorry for interrupting your training, but your advisors have requested your presence in the War Room immediately,’ the runner said quickly. 

‘It never ends,’ Blackwall said to her quietly. ‘We’ll try this again later?’ 

‘That entirely depends on what they need me for. But I hope so,’ Ellana sighed and put her staff back on the stand. ‘Duty calls,’ she muttered.

Things were uncharacteristically quiet when Ellana entered the War Room. Cullen was hunched over the table reading a letter, a look of disdain on his face. Josephine stood next to him and was furiously taking notes on her clipboard. Behind them both, Leliana stared out the window at the back of the room, her arms folded across her chest. 

‘Your Worship,’ Josepine looked up from her notes and regarded her with a nod. ‘I am sorry that we have taken you away from your morning routine but we’ve received a letter from Queen Anora. She has requested that whilst we are in Denerim dealing with any rifts that remain there and in the surrounding areas that we also attend the Landsmeet.’ 

Ellana narrowed her eyes. ‘Well that sounds dreadful. Do we need to accept?’ 

Josephine tried not to look exasperated by the question Ellana often asked regarding political talks, but by this point she was at the end of her tether. 

‘I’ll take that as a yes,’ Ellana grumbled. 

‘I know that you have a disinclination towards politics, Your Worship, but it is important that we be seen cooperating with the ruling forces in Southern Thedas, lest that we start to be seen as a threat,’ Josephine explained.

‘What do you mean by that exactly?’ Ellana furrowed her brow. ‘We defeated Corypheus and have helped people. Why would we be seen as a threat?’ 

Cullen glanced up from the letter and looked at her gravely. ‘You have amassed a great deal of force and power here, one that could quite easily lead an invasion. Since the Ferelden was occupied by Orlais for the second time, the people have been incredibly worried about it happening again. Your involvement in stopping the Orlesian civil war does not help with this.’

‘Ferelden is not yet of the opinion that you will invade, Cullen’s words are perhaps a little strong, although I understand the sentiment. Everyone is still incredibly thankful that you defeated Corypheus, but as we have technically completed the task that we formed the Inquisition to deal with, we are running out of time to continue proving that we can still be helpful,’ Josephine added. 

A loud sigh came from the window where Leliana stood. ‘Let them bleed us dry until there is nothing left,’ she sneered. 

‘Are you alright?’ Ellana asked.

Leliana turned. ‘I apologise, I was simply lost in thought. I have not visited Denerim in a long time. Not since the end of the fifth blight,’ a brief look of pain crossed Leliana’s face. She glanced away in hopes that no one saw it and let out a small laugh. ‘And it will not be my first Landsmeet.’

Ellana crossed over to Leliana and put her hand on her shoulder. ‘If it is too painful to return-’

‘No, no. It isn’t. Besides I would much like to see the memorial that Queen Anora had built, and perhaps visit some old friends,’ Leliana said, putting on a forced cheery face. ‘And as I said, this is not my first Landsmeet.’ 

‘If you’re sure,’ Ellana smiled back at her. 

Ellana and her advisors dove into a long and thorough discussion of the Landsmeet, going through the names of each important Ferelden noble that would be present, the potential issues that they would bring up to discuss, and how they would prepare. The only thing that brought Ellana comfort was knowing that this would be far less painful than the preparations made for the ball at the Winter Palace. The Grand Game was something that she did not want to go near again. When they called for a lunch break, Cullen pulled her aside after Josephine and Leliana had left. 

‘I wanted to ask you something,’ Cullen said softly, holding her hands in his. ‘And please feel free to say no. It is a rather big thing.’ 

Ellana’s heart sunk, a cold chill crawled across her body. _Was he really about to do this here? No, he wouldn’t. And yet..._

‘You’re not about to propose, are you?’ she stuttered. 

Cullen’s eyes widened. ‘Maker no!’ he exclaimed. ‘No it is far too soon for that. I was simply going to ask if you wanted to come to Honnleath with me to visit my family after we’ve dealt with the Landsmeet. Mia would love to meet you.’ 

‘Oh!’ Ellana breathed out a sigh of relief. She began to laugh nervously. ‘Yes, yes of course I will come with you.’

Cullen pulled her into a tight embrace. ‘Thank you,’ he whispered. ‘This means a lot to me.’ He lowered his head and kissed her gently on the lips. 

As soon as Cullen left the War Room to attend to other duties, Ellana began to descend into panic mode. 

What had she just agreed to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have gone slightly off canon for some things (specifically Solas offering to remove Lavellan's Valaslin without having been romanced). Some things just fit the narrative better?
> 
> Sorry for all the set-up. Expect Inner Circle fun in the next chapter!


	3. The Lights in the Shadows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has given this piece kudos!  
> I've totally been meaning to return to this for the last few months but things have been hectic. The DA4 update video that came out the other day gave me the enthusiasm to write a bit more.  
> I've also had some ideas for a little Hawke adventure... 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy :)

Dorian laughed so hard that he buckled over and almost fell out of his chair. 

‘I knew I shouldn’t have told you,’ Ellana grumbled, folding her arms across her chest. 

‘Sorry, I’m sorry,’ Dorian said as he grasped onto the side of the table and attempted to compose himself. ‘I just think the look on his face when you asked him if he was proposing would have been priceless.’ 

Ellana buried her head in her hands and groaned loudly. ‘Stop reminding me,’ she said. ‘Please.’ 

After a long day of meetings and talking politics, all Ellana wanted to do was retire to the Herald’s Rest with her friends, have a few drinks and forget about her mortification. Instead Ellana foolishly drank whatever Bull handed her and blabbered everything to Dorian. 

Dorian and Cullen are good friends! Ellana tipsily thought to herself. Perhaps he could give me some advice. 

She should really know better by now. 

‘I was hoping that you would be helpful,’ Ellana uttered sadly. ‘I’ve never met anyone's parents before.’ 

‘You’ve met my father!’ 

‘That is not the same Dorian!’ 

‘I could propose to you? Then it would be the same,’ Dorian smirked. ‘Kind of.’ 

Ellana scoffed loudly and rolled her eyes. ‘Like you would want to be stuck with me for the rest of your life,’ she said. 

‘I could think of worse people to be stuck with,’ Dorian shrugged. ‘Listen, I don’t know what to tell you here. I’m not exactly a people person, an acquired taste some might say, and meeting someone's parents isn’t something I have done either. The best advice I can give is to just be yourself? Cliche I know, but I’ve heard that it works. Cullen’s family sound like the lovely sort as opposed to the slave owning Tevinter Magister sort. If my father didn’t hate you, then you will likely be fine.’ Dorian paused and leaned in towards Ellana. ‘Also, word of advice, don’t just assume someone is trying to propose to you when they want to ask a question. You’ll get a reputation.’ He winked and chuckled. 

Ellana elbowed him in the arm. ‘I said to stop mentioning that! And please don’t tell anyone else…’ 

‘Don’t tell anyone what?’ Varric appeared at the opposite side of the table, a single eyebrow raised. ‘Do I want to know?’ 

Dorian shook his head. ‘Oh no. It is a terribly uninteresting thing.’ 

‘Definitely uninteresting and not good material for your book,’ Ellana agreed. ‘Do you have a title that isn’t “All This Shit is Weird” yet?’ 

Varric sighed and sat down. ‘No, not yet. Honestly I think the terrible title might be sticking. Unless anyone has any other suggestions, “All This Shit is Weird: The Story of Inquisitor Lavellan” will be what I go with.’ 

‘How about “The Incredibly Handsome and Talented Tevinter Altus Helps Save The World”?’ Dorian suggested with a bright smile. 

‘Bit long winded?’ Ellana remarked. 

‘Yeah, don’t ever try to write Sparkler,’ Varric chuckled. ‘Care for some more drinks and a game of Wicked Grace?’ 

The trio grabbed Bull and found a bigger table in the tavern where they spent the rest of the night drinking, gambling and telling stories. All was merry to begin with, then talk took a turn towards an inevitable. 

‘This might be the last time that we can do this you know,’ Dorian said with a hint of sadness. ‘After this business in Denerim is over I intend to look into passage back to Tevinter. I’m going to try my hardest and not get all mushy here, but I will miss you all. I will miss this.’ 

‘That’s the nicest thing I’ve ever heard you say Sparkler,’ Varric grinned. 

‘I’ll have you know that I say nice things all the time! Tell him Lana!’  
Ellana raised a single brow and smirked. ‘Oh sure! Why just earlier he told me that my taste in clothing wasn’t completely mortifying earlier and that he could probably be seen with me in public.’ 

‘See! Nice things!’ Dorian exclaimed. 

‘Alright, alright. Well I would like to extend the same sentiment to everyone since I’ll likely be off to Kirkwall soon,’ Varric said. ‘It’s been one hell of a ride.’ 

Bull made a loud harumphing noise. ‘Stop it with all this gloom. The boss looks sad.’ 

‘I’m not sad,’ Ellana mumbled, fumbling desperately for the right words. ‘I’m just… Okay I’m a little sad. It’s fine though, I knew this was going to happen. I mean we’ve already had one person leave and he didn’t even say goodbye.’ 

Dorian groaned loudly. ‘Frankly I’m glad that our resident shabby apostate is gone! He talked about the fade far too much and was always so rude. And he never let me dress him in pretty clothes. It was terrible.’ He paused and looked at Ellana, swaying a little. ‘Also I’m sorry that you’re sad, and that I made fun of you earlier. I still would marry you. Maybe. You did once kiss the shabby apostate though, but you have better taste now.’ 

The room went silent. Ellana’s expression visibly dropped at the memory that had resurfaced a little too much recently. She took a deep breath. 

Ellana tried to laugh it off. ‘Oh Dorian, I really need to stop telling you things. You’re drunk. Go to bed.’

‘I am not!’ Dorian shouted, raising his arms. ‘I haven’t even finished this bottle of terrible Orlesian wine yet!’ 

‘I’ll deal with this boss,’ Bull announced as he stood up. He came up behind Dorian and grabbed him by the sides, lifting him over his shoulder. ‘Come on you. Time for sleep.’ 

Dorian yelped. ‘Quit manhandling me you brute!’ He cried out. 

‘Hey, you didn’t say that when I did this the other night,’ Bull grinned. ‘Also Boss, as I said before, I’m not going anywhere. You still got me and the chargers for company.’ He winked and began to carry a screaming Dorian away. 

After a moment of stunned silence, Ellana and Varric burst out laughing. 

‘They make a cute couple,’ Ellana smirked. 

‘Cute is certainly one word for it,’ Varric sighed, finishing his drink in one gulp. ‘On that note, I think sleeping might be a good idea. We’ve got a long week ahead of us and I have a million letters to reply to tomorrow.’ 

‘Any word on Hawke?’

Varric nodded. ‘I received a very brief letter from her the other day. She’s currently distracted in Hunters Fell by something shiny,’ he rolled his eyes and smiled sadly. ‘I would have been surprised if she had marched directly to Weisshaupt.’ 

Ellana put her hand on Varric’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. ‘You’ll see her soon Varric. She’ll get there safely and hopefully find that everything there is completely normal.’ she said. 

‘I hate to be a pessimist but I somehow highly doubt that,’ Varric chuckled. ‘Hawke will be fine. She’s the Champion of Kirkwall! She can handle herself…’ 

Varric and Ellana bid each other goodnight and each set off to their rooms through the sleeping, silent Skyhold. When Ellana finally reached her own quarters, she found Cullen completely unconscious in bed, not even stirring when Ellana stumbled up the last few stairs. She pushed a few reports that were scattered next to him onto the floor and dove beneath the covers.

Before she knew it, she was completely alone in a thick, dark forest. In the distance, she saw a glimmer of green, the same green that the breach had been. She gripped her staff hard and cautiously began to walk forward, fallen leaves crunched beneath her bare feet. After walking for what felt like forever, Ellana came to a large clearing. In the centre was a large circular pool, a stone statue of Fen’Harel curled around it. As she slowly moved past the threshold of trees into the clearing, there was a sudden loud creaking noise from behind her. She turned to see the tree roots burst from the ground around the clearing, entwining with one another to form some sort of cage that kept her from leaving. Ellana felt a shiver run down the entire length of her body as a wisp of cold air brushed past her.  
‘Face yourself Dalen,’ a voice whispered. ‘See what you are.’  
She looked back at the pool and saw that it now shimmered green, a series of whispers emanating from it. As she came to the edge of the pool, she fell to her knees, her entire body trembling. She moved to look into the twisting, bright green pool, the waters calming as her face came into view. Her Vallaslin had returned, deep red and for Mythal. She noticed that her clothing vaguely resembled Keeper Deshana’s robes, accented in the same deep red as her Vallaslin. It was a version of herself without the mark, the person that she could have been.  
And then the Vallaslin began to bleed, red running down her face. Ellana recoiled in horror and grasped at her face. The Keeper robes that she wore melted from her body, her inquisition armour underneath. Above her, the moon sat fat in the sky, glistening and green like the pool.  
All went silent and still, Ellana shivered as she stared at her red stained hands with fear. And then she heard a low, deep growl. Ellana looked up from her hands and saw that the statue of Fen’Harel had been replaced by a huge, hulking black wolf with six green eyes that leered at her. As she matched it’s stare, a sharp jolt of pain crashed down her arm and thrusted her from this nightmare into the waking world.


End file.
